Thanksgiving Vacation Report - Like Mother Like Daughter

Well, it was a loooooong vacation. And let me just say, I deserved it after those long weeks at the office. It's just too bad most of my paycheck is going to fund some Obama plan for people who don't know how to take care of themselves. Oh well, that's life under the Democrats, I suppose.

My wife and I went to San Diego to visit her parents. It was fun. We went to the beach with our dog, saw some movies, and basically did a whole lot of nothing, which was ideal.

My wife's mom is, without a doubt, queen of the Democrats... in her own mind. You see, she's just like her daughter. A total fake! The whole time we were there it was "global warming this", "health care that", "did you watch The View last week?", you know the routine. But Friday night, she had some guests over for dinner and guess what she served for dessert. Creme brulee. And how, you might ask, did she manage to make that delicious, sweet, sugary crust on the top? With a blow torch! That's right, she went to The Home Depot and bought a blow torch and a propane tank to go along with it. Here I thought Democrats cared about the earth but instead they're going out and plundering it for its natural resources all in the name of sweety goodness. When are Democrats going to start taking themselves and their ideas seriously? Who knows? From what I've seen, never.

It's Not Our Fault

So there's this story in the news today about some chickens that were apparently abused at an egg farm. Some chickens were laying dead in the little gutter that the eggs roll down so they were touching the eggs as they passed. Apparently, this is a problem because as we all know, when we buys eggs from a supermarket, the first thing we do is eat the shells. Whatever. I told my wife about this story and she just said it wasn't her fault because we buy free range eggs. As if a dead chicken has never touched a free range egg.

A Saphire, Not a Diamond

While at our weekly dinner at Souplantation tonight, I was trying to tell my wife about the the soldier awarded the Medal of Honor today. "He's the first living soldier to receive the Medal of Honor since Vietnam" I told her, but her interest was lack-luster. I thought she may have been distracted by her brownie and yogurt dessert.

"What did he do to get it, again?" she asked.

"He shot a guy who was dragging off another American soldier."

"So he shot a guy in the face, and he gets a medal?"

"While he was kidnapping an American soldier."

The conversation was concluded with her final input:

"All I can think about is Prince William and his engagement. Did you see her ring? It was Princess Diana's...."

I got distracted myself, after that.

My Wife Actually Believes In Parenting

Sorry for taking such a long break away from this blog. I've been working hard trying to get some overtime at work so we can have Thanksgiving week off. But the break's been good because my wife has been digging herself into deeper and deeper holes with every passing day. Just the other day we saw this super hyperactive kid acting ridiculous and she said, "Someone needs to shove some Riddlin down that kid's throat.", which was expected, but then I said, "Or just some discipline.", and she said, "Yeah, that'd probably work, too."

My Wife Loooooves Bush!

My wife calls herself a Democrat but tonight on NBC when Matt Lauer asked Bush what he thought when Kanye West said "President Bush hates black people", and Bush said it was the most miserable he'd been in his presidency, she said she really felt for him. Then she said, "Too bad Condoleezza Rice is black." She said it all sarcastically, too, like she was throwing that fact in Kanye West's face. I almost asked her if she still thought Bush was the devil but I decided to just keep my mouth shut.
Bush was great tonight, I love him!

***2010 Midterm Elections Statistical Analysis***
As promised, here's my analysis of the results of the 2010 Midterm elections. It took me all weekend (I was trying to figure out this program called Excel) so I hope you love it.



As you can see, we, the Republicans, now have the majority of the representatives in the House. I was going to make a pie chart of what it looked like before the election but I don't really have that much time on my hands to make two graphs.

Still Not Interested In The Miners

My wife calls herself a Democrat but as we're watching Edison, one of the Chilean miners, on David Letterman right now, she's just falling asleep. I don't know. I guess it's not that surprising considering how little she even cared when they were down there (My Wife Mocks The Chilean Miners!). She said she's tired because she just started her new job today but come on, gimme a break!


ps - I know I said I'd do a detailed analysis of the mid-term election results but I was really busy all day today so maybe tomorrow or early next week. I really want to put some good stuff together so I want to take the necessary time to work on it.

Gridlock Here We Come!

My wife calls herself a Democrat (and political activist) but when I woke her up to show her the results of the House elections that I had printed off of CNN's website (the above image) this morning, she just looked at it and said, "Huh, looks like it's gonna be hot all across the country." I just rolled my eyes at her and said, "This isn't a weather forecast, sweetheart, this is the beginning of the end for you and your cronies!" And I left for work. I'm sure that by the time she had woken up (3 hours later at 10:00am) she had figured out what I had shown her. But maybe she didn't, because when I got home all she talked about was how mad she was that Obama had interrupted The View to talk about something.

Sneak peek: Tomorrow I'll analyze the results in detail and tell you what to expect in the next two years. Stay tuned.

God Save The Queen

Well, it's election day and it looks like the Reps. have gotten control of the House while the Dems. keep control of the Senate. Finally, a little bit of sanity is going to be restored to our country.
In the spirit of the elections, I'd like to share the following conversation that I had with my wife today.

My wife: We should just go back to a monarchy.
Me: When did we ever have a monarchy?
My wife: When we were British colonists. Life was simple, streamlined, and you always knew what to expect. No surprises.
Me: Well maybe you should just go back to England then?
My wife: It seems so luxurious over there.

Here Come The Elections

Well, it's truth time. Tomorrow, the nation will decide if this out-of-control Congress and its President will continue its liberal agenda and spending or if we'll finally get our country back and restore it to its former glory.

Well, here's a real shocker. My wife told me she isn't even going to vote! That's right. Lil' Miss Queen of the Democrats isn't going to vote. Why? Because when she was crossing the street today to get to Pei Wei a car almost hit her because the driver was distracted by some Republican political activists holding picket signs on the corner. So now she's not going to vote out of protest to the activists.

I'm not going to vote, but not because of some stupid reason like that. I just haven't re-registered in my new county. So here's a reminder to everyone to vote Yes on Proposition 1. I'd really like to see a Natural History Museum in Salt Lake.